Name:Laura Location: Ohio, United States Birthday:5/31/1982 Gender:Female
Interests:my God, my boyfriend, OSU Football, friends, Harry Potter (cannon, movies, and fanfic), mystery and cheezy but not sleezy romance novels, any movie that feeds my "slight" obsession with Colin Firth, sleeping, frogs, and who knows what else
I know that it is in fact Saturday for those in the real world, but for me it is Hump Day!
I realize it has been forever since I wrote here. As I write that I am reminded that it has been forever since I wrote anything of my own. I love fanfiction. Writing within a world of someone else's creation is freeing in a way. You already know the boundaries and limitations, so there is no need to worry about any of that. Often you even know the characters, their likes and dislikes, fears, and looks. All that is left is emotion, plot, and a little dialogue. It's easier somehow. Which I think is why I have been struggling so much with my original pieces. It is hard to make characters you can believe in and know, places you can see them living, and situations that others will find believable. I guess that is why not everyone can write.
Working is also part of the reason my writing has slowed. I had forgotten how hard it is to have a working life, online life, personal life, and try to fit anything else in. I find things slipping even when I'm not writing, so I feel guilty about writing. But then, when I don't write, I don't relieve stress very well. Catch 22 anyone?
Anyway the point of this blog was that, I am going to try harder to do a little more of the things I love, like writing and blogging, and spend less time worrying about those things I don't love.
I know. It is near 6am and those of you who know me well, or at all really, are wondering what on earth I am doing up this early. Well I shall tell you... I am considering taking a step off the diving board and seeing whether I sink or swim.
I was reading and as a good friend just said to me, "books are dangerous creatures." Amen.
Have you ever read something that really called to you? Not just something you found entertaining or instructional, something that took you away from the real world for a few moments or hours, but something that when you were finished reading, made you want to do something about it!?!
That is exactly how I am feeling. I loved this book. I related to the main female character so much. I felt her lows, I lived her highs, and now that I have turned the last page on her story, I am feeling the need to do something about it with me.
I wish I could write like that. I want to be able to leave people with a feeling of... Well anything really.
In the book Reading Lolita in Tehran, Azar Nafisi wrote "Nabokov expected his readers to feel in the act of reading fiction; it was a sensation that separated the good readers, as he called them, from the ordinary ones."
I have often thought of that quote, even before I started out on the journey and, at times, adventure writing has become. I agree there are readers and then there are readers, people who, like me, truly feel the characters and become involved in their lives. The question is, how much of that is due to the reader and how much to the author? And perhaps, how much has to do with some kind of connection, overt or not, that exists between the two, whether it be life experiences, growing up in the same place, or something as simple as a shared favorite book which influenced both the writing and reading of the work in question?
Why do somethings fail and somethings fly?
And why do I find myself believing it all has to do with taking the first step?
I heard this song today for the first time and it made me think of my friend, Daphne.
All That Matters ~Addison Road
I may never be the one that gets a second glance
I may never be the one they call the prettiest
But that’s alright with me
And maybe I don’t follow every crazy passion
Spend all my time trying to get a good reaction
But that’s ok with me
This world is like a trampoline
High and low no in between
Jumping at the chance to please
Everyone but that’s not me
Cause all that matters is
All that matters is
I know your love has set me free
And that’s all that matters to me
Cause all that matters is
All that matters is
I know your love has set me free
And that’s all that matters to me
Some people tell me to step out and do my own thing
And others say I got to blend in just to be the same
And stop being me
But this shallow world is no longer what I’m made of
I’ve been changed by grace
I’ve been saved by love
What more do I need
All that matters is
All that matters is
I know your love has set me free
And that’s all that matters to me (x2)
My life comes from the One
Who made the stars and brought the sun
He loves me more than these
So I don’t need another identity
Cause all that matters is
All that matters is
I know your love has set me free
And that’s all that matters to me (X2)
I liked the song a lot, but when I looked up the lyrics, I liked it even more. I had planned on writing a lot more tonight. I had an idea and a plan. I wanted to make you think. Then, a couple hours ago, I was walking across the room and my knee went out on me. I haven't been able to think of much but pain since, so I think I will leave you with this quote from Charlie Wilson's War.
"Why is Congress saying one thing and doing nothing?" "Tradition mostly."
Ten words. Ten tiny words. She considers the page before her and reflects on the words written there. She need only add two more to make it complete and she will... She must. The time to change what must be has passed, if it ever existed at all. So she will do it. She will sign her name and resign. For a brief moment, she wonders if it will bring him pain, if he will have some sense of loss, but she angerly puts those thoughts away. Now is a time for her and she will give herself this gift of freedom. Twelve simple words on a crisp sheet of white will bring her peace.
... or so she hopes.
Ten words. Ten tiny words, but originally there were twelve. Somewhere in the last twenty years she has lost two words and so much more. The ring of gold taunts her as it sits on his note. Twenty years and all he could spare were two sentences and his name. His full name, as if they had not shared a name, a life, a bedfor the last two decades, as if she would confuse him for another. She sits, staring at the note, at the ring, willing them to give her understanding, knowing they cannot.
Ten words. Ten tiny words and suddenly his whole world has changed. Her smile is the brightest in the world at that moment and he knows he has made the right decision. He does his best to keep his composure, but looses it entirely as she joins him on the floor where he is kneeling. He carefully places the ring on her finger, trying to make sure everything is perfect even as joyful tears run down his cheeks. In his head, he knows others have felt this absolute happiness before, but in his heart he believes they have never felt anything quite like this.
Ten words. Ten tiny words and the lid is closed. He walks to the front of the church, doing his final duty to his bride. As their sons help him, he remembers all the other times he carried her. Over a puddle, that first time, as she protested his every move until he stopped her words with a kiss. At the restaurant, swinging her around and around as he shouted to everyone within hearing that she had said yes. Over the threshold and to their marital bed. And then later, from that same bed to the bathroom, when she had been too weak to stand, to the hospital when she had been to weak to eat. He has carried her too many times to count and certainly too many times to remember throughout their long, blessed life together. As the coffin is lowered into the ground, he knows this last carry will be the one he will never forget.
Okay so I have been suffering from major block this last week or more and I have decided to just force myself to write, one way or another. For this I just closed my eyes and thought of a beginning sentence and then made myself come up with four life experiences I could write about with that as a beginning. I think I will try something else like this tomorrow because it seems to have helped.
Yes, you read me right. I am the "beast Singer." I believe being called "beast" at something is a good thing, though that hasn't been confirmed by anyone under the age of 18.
I am finally recovered-ish from my weekend.
Friday night was spent in Columbus for a Sanders' Game Night. It was awesome, as always. Spoons, Tribond, Guesstures, Taboo, and Communism the Game (officially known as Hoopla) for me and there were others played that night including Acquire, Beat the Experts and who knows what else. It was a great night. We drove back afterwards and got to bed around 4am, which was both good and bad.
Saturday was thus a bit of a wash. I slept in, hung out in my pjs, and did a whole lot of nothing. Stefdarlin and I stayed up late chatting and watching Jeff Foxworthy: first, one of his specials, then the uncut version of his roast. It was great tv and the conversation was better. I swear we are so alike in some ways that it is scary!
Sunday morning meant getting up in time to pick up Grandma for Sunday School and Church. As soon as it was done, and we dropped my Grandma off, we met Ron and Ida at a local restaurant. I left before they were finished eating because I had one of my sneezing attacks. I was in my pjs and asleep in bed before they got home. After a long nap, I was ready for the overnight at Church.
The overnight was interesting to say the least. We went bowling for a few hours right after everyone arrived and we went over the rules. I actually bowled very, very well; I had a 98 the first time and 10? the second. I can't remember the exact score because I was just so excited to break 100! Then we went back to the church and spent the rest of the night (till just after 8 am) struggling to stay awake. I did play some games and sang some for Rock Band (which is how I earned the nickname). At one point, as we sat at a table waiting for the last two kids to be picked up by a mother who had the nerve (and my frustration seemed justified at the time) to be 10 minutes late, Sandy, Sarah and I sang a rousing rendition of the Mail Song from Blues Clues. lol Anyway, Sandy and I stayed close together as we each drove home and I made two trips in with things before collapsing into my bed for many hours. It was a fun night, full of laughs, games, rock band, and movie making and I am very glad I went!
Needless to say, Monday was again a bit of a wash. Sandy came over to watch "My Dad is Better Than Your Dad" (yes, we are just coming out of a writer's strike, how could you tell?) and stuck around to watch "Medium." It was crazy to see how much the kids on that show had grown. I had not realized how long it had been since I watched it! I still love the show though. It was a great episode to catch.
Today, I donated plasma for the first time ever. It was interesting and not nearly as bad as I thought it might be. The nurses were all a bit kooky, but I understood that. I would probably be the same. Adam and I watched the Monk and Psych we had missed Friday evening while we were in Columbus. They were great. I loved the Psych and the Monk was exciting. I can't wait to see how they finish it up Friday night, though I am sad that there won't be a new Psych afterwards. And after this week we will have to wait till the summer for new episodes because of the way they split up their seasons. I am looking forward to it!
Sandy and I went over to Sarah's tonight to watch American Idol and to vote for Garrett Halley, a kid from our area. I hope he makes it to sing another song. He isn't the best, but he isn't bad for a 17 year old. :) Also, it was great to hang out with the girls. They are a lot of fun!
The CR Boards have been down most of the day apparently and only came back up a few moments ago, though there are still a few issues. I'm glad it has started working though. I had somethings I wanted to do, but it's a little late/early for that now. :)
Do you guys remember Vitamin C? I'd forgotten how much I enjoy Colleen Fitzpatrick. She's one beast singer.
